Disclaimer: all names and places (ok just names, you know I’m in China) in this blog post have been changed.
I would like to start by saying that this post has the potential to make me seem like a complete arse. I hope this is not the case, but here goes… (Mum stop reading now please)
It’s no secret that many western men, and I’m sure some western women, have the same fantasy view of exotic Asian women (East End Girls). I won’t lie… I’ve had the same thoughts myself, and coming to China opened a world (country) of opportunities to experience relationships with something other than the delightful British girls that I’m used to (few as there have been).
In my 2 months and 1 week in China I have had experiences (don’t be rude now) with 3 women. Here are those tales.
Jolene is a lovely woman I got chatting to whilst drunk at a bar (how else does it start?). She had a friend, as did I, so we continued to talk and continued to drink until we decided that dancing was much-needed. So we left Buddha Bar (Exit A, Qing Nian Gong Yuan subway station, good Expat bar) and headed to Pure Color, a club with a huge number of Russians. Jolene’s friend did not join us, and Dane soon decided to head home. After some more dancing we did the same.
Waking up the next morning in a strange place is never fun. Less so when you are horrendously hung over. But wake I did, and hung over I really was. Nothing had happened the night before (of which I am glad now), and after I had showered we talked a bit. She was 32.
Age differences are becoming less of an issue, but I only recently turned 24 and consider myself to be quite childish. So this was an awkward situation for me. It wasn’t helped when she started offering medication for the cold I clearly had. There is an unwritten rule in China that I have learned quickly… If someone offers you something, be it umbrella, food or indeed medication, you accept it. You don’t have to use, eat or take it; but your life will be a lot easier if you just say thanks and be on your way.
Safe to say the medication helped (I’m not stupid, there was an English translation on the insert)!
This is where the trouble with Jolene really started. I received a phone call early that evening…
Jolene “Where are you?”
Me “Just at home… Who is this?” (never give your number when drunk)
Jolene “It’s Jolene. You come to Buddha Bar tonight?”
Me “Erm, maybe!”
Jolene “Ok, you call me!”
2 hours later…
Jolene “Baby!” (This shocked me to say the least) “Where are you?”
Me “I’m at home”
Jolene “When do you come Buddha?”
Me “I’m not sure, it’s only 7”
Jolene “Ok. Call me!”
I didn’t call her. I know that’s not very nice, but there she was waiting for me when Dane and I arrived at Buddha Bar. Talking to another guy… Thank God!
I later found out she was talking about me… AHHHHHHHHHHH!
The Jolene situation was handled badly of course. I received many calls at the weekends, and resorted to giving vague answers to any and all questions of my current and future whereabouts.
I’ll let you know how that pans out…
Amy is a teacher at my Kindergarten. She teaches a level 1 class (my second class of the day), who are noisy but otherwise a great group of children. Amy seemed like a nice, friendly girl, and I was happy to make new friends. When she offered to cook a meal for myself and Dane I was more than happy to accept. Who would say no to home Chinese cooking? So we ate, we talked, and were having an ok time until I offered to pay for the food! She threw a hissy fit/strop/tantrum whatever you like to call it, I can imagine her 4 year old students acting similar (as I said earlier… Just accept what you’re given).
This was my first view of Crazy Amy.
She continued to text me, and I her, thinking we were just friends. In all honesty after that meal very little was said between us aside from Hello’s, what are you doings? etc. This is where I started getting worried.
During my trip to Dalian to sort out my work permits, my return to Shenyang was postponed. After receiving the standard Where are you? and replying with a brief In Dalian, I was shocked when she returned with Ok, this weekend I come see you!
Now, think back… Are you thinking? Can you recall a time when someone you’ve known for all of 1 month, have spoken to only briefly, and given no indication that you are interested in a relationship, will travel 5 1/2 hours on a packed uncomfortable train, at a moments notice, just to see you?
I didn’t think so. Clearly I was out of my depth!
After diffusing the situation and returning to Shenyang, alone, I received another text, Lately why you not contact me?
No credit! I lied.
Oh ok, I have something to tell you
What is it?
I seem to fall in love with you
Uh oh! I decided to man up and not shy away from this situation, and after asking If she’d ever been in love before, and telling her that she was perhaps using too strong a word, I made it clear that I did not feel the same and that we should perhaps not be friends if she does. My british friends seemed shocked at how “well” I’d supposedly handled this, who knows why!?
I still get texts telling me to wrap up warm on cold days…
Leanne is someone I met very recently, and so there is not much of a story here. Only to say that 2 days without contact seem to worry her and she misses me after only a few days without seeing her.
It seem’s I am not learning any lessons here. So please heed my warnings, learn from my errors, and lose you asian fantasies!
East End Girls are for life, not just for Christmas!
If you haven’t already, check out my flatmates blog Dane vs Life. I don’t think he’s winning!